My Most Miserable Friday, Thus Far.

Today was just meant to be bad. It's probably destined from the start. Decided to try the peanut pancake from Mr Bean as my colleague told me it was good. It turns out that it's not the peanut pancake we expected it to be!! not the min jiang kuah kind but the jap pancake - round - kind! ugh! The worse thing is, he was shocked too! like?!?! "I thought u said it was good? u mean u didnt know??"..."I thought the soy milk was good... so the kueh should be good too..." GOSH! you know how relationships that start ok always tend to come to a point where you start getting irritated with his/her silly habits. Think i'm at this stage with him now. I'm getting impatient nowadays! perhaps it's coz of pms... but whatever... anyways tat was no. 1 BAD thing that happened today. Of coz this is in addition to the fact that before that, i stood beside the smellesttttttttt woman on earth on 171 as she bathed (wet hair) but still emitted a foul odour sporadically, and the dirty-man-who-prob-didnt-bathe who squeezed his way out of the seat without saying "excuse me" which almost caused me to hug the woman sitting beside me. I actually imagined the million of germs/bacteria that has been rubbed onto my pants and thinking of it just makes me sick. i need to bathe.

Day at work has been rough. workworkwork... non-stop... till 5.30... i'm still not done with 1 bloody client in 1 freaking day!! you have no idea how frustrating it gets!! just imagine having to do initial research on a school project... not knowing what you can get...but just try to get what u can get... and you are only researching on 1 thing - the company etc that you will be working on. ME? i have to do like 6 a day... which is my target... and sometimes in 1 freaking day you get stuck in all 6!! what do u do?! arghhh..... come 530 the whiny SIM girl wants to leave and i want to finish up at least 1 before i go... so i asked to take over her duty of sending our weekly targets to our BIG BOSSES. before i know it, it's 8pm and i'm still stuck with that stupid client! i just simply cant complete it coz there were some problems with it. GOODNESS. i really wanna scream! just before that, this guy from the team sitting opposite us was trying out his stupid ringtone. some hokkien song which prob every one knows the tune but hates it (at least for me). he played it like 10 times! not kidding! i was totally losing my mind... my whole team was! wat's up with these ppl? all the guys in that team are either faggots or ugly! all the women are either naggy or aunties! ARGH!!! it's so getting to me.. sometimes i wish they could just shut up.

Next was the thing that pushed me to my limits. I dont know how many times i have said this but I CANT STAND PUBLIC TRANSPORT - which includes taxis. (1) They are almost always not reliable. Late or does not even turn up. (2) Smelly and rude people onboard ALWAYS. (3)
Can forget about flagging a cab in CBD. (4) Can forget about calling a cab even coz you can never get thru ALL the hotlines. Unless you're lucky of coz.. but i guess we werent that lucky these days. sharon steph and i had to bus back yest coz all the lines were engaged. (5) Cab drivers just wanna earn that $4 booking fee and they DO NOT take any clients on the streets. A cabby confessed that to me proudly when i took a cab home on wed! Anyways, I left work at 8pm. Waited for the freaking bus for 30 mins!! what a totally waste of time! and what more, the journey will take me another 45mins or more. it's 8.30pm. i havent eaten anything since lunch. hungry. angry. frustrated. stressed. I just HATE public. I would do anything to drive to work. argh!

Finally reached home at 9.30pm. my mom didnt even heat up my food knowing i was coming back. i called her!! why? tv was more important. i tried to talk to them to get it off my chest! no, tv was more impt. i wanted to watch some different channel as i was eating my late dinner. No, they prefer another channel. what's up with them?! can't they just be nicer for once! sigh! they dont seem to care. they are like in their own world and only they matter. i dont mean to be whining like a teenage kid but sometimes it really hurts coz THE TV IS MORE IMPT. screw it.

Thank God i have a blog to rant on. if not i will surely die. somemore now dan cant even listen to me. sigh!!! I had the shittest friday of my work life!! =(

Darling pls call me.... =( have been waiting forever...

Yet Another Fantastic Weekend

not exactly in the mood to blog right now, but decided to do it anyway so darling from half ard the world can get updated.

i must say that this wkend was just as good as the last. friday night was simply lovely! went for modestoes dinner at vivo after some silly miscommunications caused by self-proclaimed king of fighters kelwin haha ended up not being able to attend melvin's art exhibition launch!! anyways dinner was deliciousssssssssssly good! kel, cor and I shared this double portion of LINGUINE (sounds familiar...haha) with crab, prawns, mussels, clams and squids. it's no joke. when the plate came, we were stunt and thought we were gonna die eating it! the plate was HUGEEEEEEE! like VERY! plus we ordered a woodfire pizza too... which was equally big! =) oh not to mention, we had our usual dose of free italian bread (which kel so happily finished)... calamari and $10 mushroom soup! i will post the pics up if tiff does upload them =)

oh that's not it. after dinner, we headed to Oosh @ dempsey for some drinks. oh my! the place was gorgeous and it was just such a memorable experience! will definitely visit it again some time soon =) thanks guys for "adopting" me always! love ya all lots =)

saturday was just slow for me. played tennis with ade and mark coz i decided i needed some form of exercise. didnt manage to go for dan's class coz my left knee cap is bruised from the accident. ugh!! it hurt like mad but thank god it has since became better...

caught hairspray which was surprisingly good after our tennis session.

stinky zan, clean ade and stinky mark

mark trying to act pro!

mark and i were so bored so decided to catch a show. i love it so much i'm gonna download the soundtrack. hehe suppose to have a poker session at steph's after tat but ended up playing bridge and daidi coz there were only 4 of us. quite sad. but then again, we had so much fun... seeing zu lose and bitching once again abt u-know-who. all was fun and good =) dan also smsed me while walking in woodbury! i cant wait to go up to NYC!! sighh he also told me tat the yogurt i'm always tempted to buy (like $4 in spore) was also USD$1!! goodness think i would really love NY haha.. cant wait for feb to come..

coffee with the sharon & nush @ cedele today was good too =) finally had the chance to sit down and have some girl talk.. hope we can do this more often. enjoying the power of freedom as working women. haha but as much as i'm enjoying my freedom as a semi-single girl, i miss him! everything abt him =)

alrights before i become all too emo and mushy.. gonna stop here... another work wk.. but i'm kinda looking forward to working hard... i love my job. for now =)

What a Horrible Night.

daddy and i got into an accident tonight. sigh! i dont feel like penning the details alr.. talked too much abt it.. we're fine but the car needs some work. sigh! i hate getting into accidents! and it's always not our fault! we did all we could to avoid but still cant... why cant ppl just drive carefully?! ugh!! 31-yr-old p-plate driver... sigh....

the mitsubishi in the middle of the road...

My Work Life...

Havent really blogged abt my worklife or introduce my work friends to anyone... took quite a lot of pics during team lunches/dinners coz my manager LOVES pictures! haha so do i actually... so let the pics speak for themselves...

my whole team...almost...

my refresh team - clarence, gin, hweeling (from left to right)

with Grace...best manager ever... :)

our fantastic smu intern! sheryl...

ok lazy to upload anymore.. next time =)

Home

Darling! a peek at your room...... haha! Don't be too sad tat ur trails are gone... =)



missing you. :)

Monday.

decided to pen down some thoughts before i head to bed. yey!!! i received dan's post card! haha thank u darling! so sweet of u! =) think the last time u wrote to me was... when we were 18? gosh tat's 5 years ago!! feel so old..

anyways, met up with my twin during lunch today... signed a million forms for insurance and yes! i might be getting a free PSP haha.. all thanks to my twin who put in the request for me! thanks twin! hopefully stupid uob approves it! :) and of coz dan ordered my pretty ipod nano alr.. with my name engraved at the back! gosh i cant wait to receive all my gadgets! i'm a techy girl hahaa.. =) now wat i need is a new canon ixus camera! perhaps nearer to the end of the yr.. i would need a better camera when i do get to toronto-newyork.

didnt get to talk to darling today. hopefully he settles down soon so we can talk. alrights, time for bed... nitez!

Memories of my Salvation.

Headed home after my shopping madness yesterday on public with my ipod and that's when i really started thinking abt what i'm gonna do with my life, my walk with God... sometimes when all is well - when i'm not tired and have lots of time to spare - i do enjoy taking the bus. sadly it's when i'm on the bus that i have the time to stop and think, reflect, ponder... Hillsongs will be on the top of the list whenever my ipod is plugged in as i'm travelling. whether u agree or not, it sets the mood for reflection and having some personal quiet time.

when it finally came to a really old song..."So You Would Come"... i suddenly felt like i was being transported back to those days in tcc's sanctuary.

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
and everything was done
so you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the word
The power of His blood
And everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only son
And everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the word
The power of His blood
And everything was done
So you would come

By: Hillsongs

as i heard the lyrics, tears welled up in my eyes. it reminded me of the day rouen brought me to youth service. i was just 13. shy and quiet me didnt really dare to talk to anyone. following that, she invited me to attend a Bondage Breaker event. i remember how much i hesitated to put up my hand during alter call and how in the end i courageously decided to do it anyway. until this day, i can still testify that my decision was right and i really thank God for making me His child. God has been so patient and faithful to me this whole time and i've always been letting him down, leading my life the way i want behind the facade of not wanting history to repeat itself. it has been 10 yrs and i can still remember how as a young christian i enjoyed God's presence so much and i've always wanted to be in church coz i REALLY enjoy worship so much. indeed, moving to cbc was a great challenge. despite all the persuasion from my friends, i insisted on sticking to my decision coz i really didnt want my rel to sour. to put it in a blunt way, i left my comfort zone, gave up what i could have with God and chose to be with dan in cbc. to be honest, i do think that my rel with God has been short-changed. but being so used to it now, it doesnt really bother me anymore. it has taken a back seat somewhere in my heart. i do treasure what i have now and do not hope to deal with any major changes. my heart is so settled and i dont think there's anyone else for me... this makes it even harder to make decisions that will jeopardise things. i'm even willing to give up my dream to be with the one i love. like it or not, the culture in cbc is not healthy. but yet again, it's generational and i can hardly expect any changes. for example, most youths/kids have been going to church since they were babies. they know so much abt the Word but yet deep inside they do not even understand the meaning of the things we do. they are mostly emotionally detached. on the other hand, many youths in tcc are 1st generation christians. they accepted christ on their own and it really does make a difference. even the kids are different. for example, some of the youngest kids in tcc understands the meaning of tithing whereas adults like me dont even practise it. i really enjoy tcc's church culture. sometimes i whine abt it but most of the time i just give up trying. i ended up being comfortable with just going to church on sundays. i hate it. but it'll be like this. at least for a while - altho it has been almost 6 years. will things ever change?

sorry for such a messy post.. ya tat's kinda it... it's hard to put in words... till then.. another work week =|

Weekend Madness

For the first time since work started i slept at 4am! reached home abt 2.30ish last night after a fantastic time of fireworks-wine-margarita-liveband with some uni folks. it was all topped up with dan who came online!! excited me msned him & we chatted till 4am. but happy happy i was! haha... unfortunately, my good night sleep didnt last long as men kept shouting from my window at abt 1030am. my place is being repainted so always lots of commotion outside. ugh! there goes my sleep. but i'm glad i'm someone who doesnt need extra sleep as long as i've slept the same no. of hours - about 6hrs these days.

bar @ onerafflesLink i've always wanted to go | me & ht @ la baroque Chijmes | zw & cliff

ok this post is gonna be long and all over the place, so bear with me hehe =)

logging on to my laptop seems like the only thing i really think of when i return from work. or rather, ANYWHERE. since i was awaken earlier than i expected this morning, decided to log on again. and once again, dan was online! not only that, good news for me! i'm gonna get the red ipod nano all the way from US. haha! woohoo! darling cracked his powerbook n gonna get a new macbook.. so free ipod! this is gonna be MINE SOON....... haha...

Another great achievement today was SHOPPING! think i've reconnected with the shopper in me today haha! firstly, i braved the rain and public transport to get to town - with a bit of help from daddy tho... he drove me to newton... haha! come on it's still 10% bus!! anyways, as usual, first destination is always favourite Tangs. 3 pairs of earrings enough to last me for another couple of weeks before i get bored with them. simply lovely! next, off to moonstone and bought a pair of 3-quarts which is on 50%! ok it's still 40bucks, but it fits perfectly! ;)

the bottom pair has stars engraved on the rings.. not sure if u can see.. =)

The next must-go town place is ZARA! like of coz! haha... my first time shopping after getting first paycheck n spent 500 at one go in zara. i must say it was the ultimate therapeutic thing to do. plus of coz i needed work clothes too. have been sick of rotating my old clothes! sick of hearing "hey, u wore u nice top again..." which is more like "how come u're wearing the same top again..." so u get it. sigh! work clothes are bloody ex but i derived so much enjoyment trying them and actually paying for them. felt sooooooooo good making payment at the counter without having to worry that i wont have enough for the month. the power of the working class. these are 2 of my gorgeous buys... i really love them:

so hungry after 3 hrs of shopping but completely happy & contented. took public home - guilty from all the spending - and started reflecting on my own life. that i shall leave it to another post later on when i have time after watching bourne. kel and cor are the dearest to me these days. they're such darlings for asking me out all the time despite me reminding kel to spend more time with cor. i'm really grateful to u both for helping me rebuild my 1-yr-single-life. hehe off to prepare for movie night... later... :)

Surviving

Just got back from the gym not too long ago. was pretty motivated to work out at daniel's class today! however half way i really almost died. i feel sooooooooo unfit! =(

Anyways, dan shld be in the air right now... altho i seem to be surviving fine... i think i am adjusting to singlehood... i am afraid that this wont be the end... through the long bus and train rides in the mornings, my mind wandered and i suddenly felt this sense of loss. i wont be able to feel him anymore! everything's just so surreal... it doesnt seem that he's gonna be gone for a long time.. tat's the scary part.. tat means the worse part of missing him is not here yet sigh! but i know i will make it. yes i will.

ok that's it for now... will post a better one in the weekend.. gonna sleep alr... nitez......

Lost for Words

i'm soooooooooooo happy! chatted with dan over skype for almost an hr just now! it was a weird chat tho.. i spoke but he typed..coz he complained that there was some kinda echo over his end when he speaks. anyways it was good. =) i miss him! and now i really wanna go japan! haha.. idea......... =) go look at his facebook pics! not alot but japan's really lovely hehe...

kaez gonna rest for the night... *yawnz*

His First Call

gosh i almost missed my darling's call!! i know it's silly but i turned on my skype even tho i know he doesnt have his laptop with him... i dozed off coz i was soooooooooo tired n still had to entertain my china relatives as they stopover in spore... suddenly i was in a half daze and i heard my laptop ringing!! goshhh can u just imagine the excitement?! i was so happy but yet sad at the same time. i was sooooooo gonna cry but i held back. esp after hearing his voice which is not so happy... kinda cracked up i thought he cried secretly. altho i think that's a possibility but i decided to push tat thought aside. i know i wont be able to control my own emotions if i delve on it.

wells it's good hearing him. knowing he's safe. altho he's feeling lonely and all now, i know he'll be fine given time. God, I pray for your protection over him and not let him come to any harm. I pray that you'll comfort him when he's feeling lonely. and speak to him in your own time.

dearie i really miss u lots and still can cry buckets when i think abt it... but in time to come i'll come to get used to it. love you always... =)

nitez all... yawnz...

Bye Love =(

i hate bidding farewell at the airport. all the tears and agony of seeing ur love ones leave... it's just so torturing. it's 6.15am and i just got home from sending dan off. i tried my best to control and cry before tat but as we strolled towards the gate, it still happened. i cant help it! it felt like there were still so many things i wanted to say and it's just impossible to say it there and then. i'm so worried abt him getting lost given his poor sense of direction. worried that he might not make the best choices as we have always been making decisions tog since we got tog. sigh! yes, it's time to let go. it's time that you travel ur journey n i'll fully concentrate on mine. i just pray that our long-dist relationship will work and i promise u to try to work towards it. Funny enough, it was the girl who we always joked abt who came and hugged me to comfort me. as off as she may be, i think she's a nice and harmless girl. i really appreciated her gesture regardless of whether she meant it or not =)

it was a tiring day indeed. i'll miss u dearly love! and pls email me at work or drop me a comment here whenever u can... hugz n kisses... zan...