The new year seems to be picking up rather slowly, be it at work or in my personal life. Ever since I returned from my trip, I haven't been working out. I haven't engaged in any activity that remotely resembles exercise, unless walking counts? Even walking can be a problem sometimes when I delibrately choose to take the bus in the morning so that I can alight AT orq (even if it means I'll be late for work). What more, at the back of my mind, memories of nyc and toronto still lingers. I still feel a sense of nostalgia after so long. Of course ultimately, it is dan that I miss. Very much. Much more than ever since he left :( What do I do? Sigh.
I never thought much of v-day even when he was around in the past. Perhaps it's because we have been together for such a long time. Perhaps I do think like some guys do, that v-day is simply an occasion to rip off couples. It is probably both of these reasons. hehe... Am I a good catch or what? ;) Somehow this year felt different. I actually wanted to celebrate v-day. I may not have shown it, but I wanted it very much. By celebrating, I mean spending time alone away from the world... sharing a special moment. I would love to have him cook for me in our (imaginery) home... sip wine for the rest of the night... just enjoying each other's company and celebrating the love we share so deeply for so many years. I would do anything for that moment on 14 Feb. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen for obvious reasons and what's worse was I tried studying CFA at Macs and didn't achieve much coz my body was just so tired from drinking the night before.
*****
In terms of career, I am just hating the job scope. the people. the bonus. the increment. the prospects. the culture. I am not meant to be here and am definitely made for bigger things than this. This is probably why I could talk to Ed yesterday. Ed is a very different person when you actually get to know him. On the outside, he appears to be like the people in my team. That is so wrong. He's someone who thinks like me. We're meant for greater things. What the HELL are we doing here? *Short-changed* I really hope UBS calls me this week. I really want the job. I want UBS.
*****
I am feeling SO happy these days coz I have SO many friends. I didn't realise this before but I really thank God for such a sweet bunch of friends from uni, jc, sec sch. Esp Uni, considering how much I used to bitch about the cheenaNESS of biz ad. I've found my place. Finally!
As much as I am glad and happy, I still feel rather empty at times. I guess no matter how vibrant a social life I have now, it still can't be compared to what dan and I share when he was around. He occupies a special part of my life that no one else can fill... and I really need him now. I miss him so much it hurts. SIGH. Please come back soon?
Probably feeling all these emotions coz I was blog surfing and saw how sweet other ppl's bfs were... all the tiffany's... all the efforts put in... plus class 95 isn't helping right now. haha...
Anyways.. it's Monday tmr.. yet another week of battle... but I will survive. =)
I never thought much of v-day even when he was around in the past. Perhaps it's because we have been together for such a long time. Perhaps I do think like some guys do, that v-day is simply an occasion to rip off couples. It is probably both of these reasons. hehe... Am I a good catch or what? ;) Somehow this year felt different. I actually wanted to celebrate v-day. I may not have shown it, but I wanted it very much. By celebrating, I mean spending time alone away from the world... sharing a special moment. I would love to have him cook for me in our (imaginery) home... sip wine for the rest of the night... just enjoying each other's company and celebrating the love we share so deeply for so many years. I would do anything for that moment on 14 Feb. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen for obvious reasons and what's worse was I tried studying CFA at Macs and didn't achieve much coz my body was just so tired from drinking the night before.
*****
In terms of career, I am just hating the job scope. the people. the bonus. the increment. the prospects. the culture. I am not meant to be here and am definitely made for bigger things than this. This is probably why I could talk to Ed yesterday. Ed is a very different person when you actually get to know him. On the outside, he appears to be like the people in my team. That is so wrong. He's someone who thinks like me. We're meant for greater things. What the HELL are we doing here? *Short-changed* I really hope UBS calls me this week. I really want the job. I want UBS.
*****
I am feeling SO happy these days coz I have SO many friends. I didn't realise this before but I really thank God for such a sweet bunch of friends from uni, jc, sec sch. Esp Uni, considering how much I used to bitch about the cheenaNESS of biz ad. I've found my place. Finally!
As much as I am glad and happy, I still feel rather empty at times. I guess no matter how vibrant a social life I have now, it still can't be compared to what dan and I share when he was around. He occupies a special part of my life that no one else can fill... and I really need him now. I miss him so much it hurts. SIGH. Please come back soon?
Probably feeling all these emotions coz I was blog surfing and saw how sweet other ppl's bfs were... all the tiffany's... all the efforts put in... plus class 95 isn't helping right now. haha...
Anyways.. it's Monday tmr.. yet another week of battle... but I will survive. =)
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